a song to describe how i feel...

我恨我愛你 - 張惠妹

面帶微笑離開你懷裡　我聽天由命
最後一張王牌在手裡　二選一的機率
不能放縱愛你　就放過自己

愛情已經過了甜蜜期　多說也是無益
愛不愛我已經沒關係　一點小傷而已
你可以很放心　我不會為了留你假裝可憐兮兮

都怪我太不爭氣　我恨我愛你
Oh~ 我愛你　只是因為你是你
Oh~ 我恨你

你有我看也看不清的小聰明
你有我說也說不完的壞脾氣
你有我數也數不盡你　的新戀情

沒關係
我有你拿也拿不走的舊回憶
我可以一個人安靜的忘記你
我恨你最後那一句　我愛你

formatting my laptop... and using my bro's laptop to blog. Finally finished my exams... It was a horrible sem... totally cannot concentrate on studies due to the many things that happened in the whole of the past 6 months... walking in and out of it... yet not completely out of it yet. in the end, probably chui my whole sem n exams...

Listening to song and blogging down my feelings... Feeling a lot of emotions, not only for myself, and also for friends around me who are now walking out of their break-ups... Sometimes i wonder, do people really know what they want in a life partner. Being one of those who r still in the midst of healing n walking out, I still wondering what exactly happened or what went wrong. Sometimes I really blame myself for not doing anything... Or for not being a considerate partner. I regret for not being someone who can complement him or to care enough for him. I thought being beside him and caring for him was how I can show my love. I regret the times that I was being spolit or unreasonable... Then, i felt angry... angry for being betrayed. now, its just sadness left... I put my whole heart into loving this person... Never ever loved so much... Waiting for us to graduate, to move together into a new chapter of our lives... to be there, supporting and loving, caring and respecting each other. I thought he is the one that will hold my hands to the end, to hold me through all the happy times, the sad, the troubled and the many more to come in our future...

I still see the future that had the both of us... to have a family together... how our home will be like, and how would it be like to have kids and raising them together... now, its just a dream, a beautiful yet now painful dream...

After hearing from someone else, suddenly i feel a lot of emotion, for myself, n for my friend. I really thought about a lot of things... and all the emotions started pouring out from my broken heart. after so many months, my feelings for him has not cease a single bit. Trying to move on with my life, and wanting to forget...