my head or my heart....

if i'm feeling lost... which should I follow? logic doesn't always seem to work...
maybe its like what they said, i used my head too much... no one knows the future... if i did not give a chance to find out what will happen, nothing will ever happen...
things i used to tell others, how come I just can't seem to use it upon myself as advice? It's funny when the same situation happens to me, i just can't seem to tell myself to do the same anymore. I used to say the same thing as my friend told me to do...
maybe i shld try to listen to my own advice for a change... or till then, it might be too late for any regrets... if things doesn't work out, then maybe its not the way it should be rite?
easier said than done... no matter what.. I have to decide soon... and not let things drag any further rite?
Yeah... maybe...

A nice song to listen to at night... heard it while watching Vampire Diaries
Plumb - Cut
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone

holey crap!

man... i'm speechless and in shock... dunno wat to do man....

I still cannot comprehend what i heard... even if it was with my own ears... man.. seriously confused n in shock... and i dunno how am i suppose to handle it... 1st time in my life... even till now, after a day to digest the information, i'm still feeling confused and think that it was all a dream and it din happen in real life... i mean, its not possible that such stuff can ever happen to me... i just dun believe it can...

Did yesterday really happen? Maybe the rain drenching damaged my hearing or my brain...
what to do..... holey crap... i really dunno how to react... sigh